I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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