Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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