the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
