He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
