i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How does one acquire holy water?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
