well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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