You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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