Last Night in New York (585)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

• (585): View more from New York

  I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose

  Fav 0 15 43

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.

  Fav 3 62 39

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (585): View more from New York

  He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.

  Fav 0 25 38

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern

  Fav 0 20 37

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  I couldn't have possibly been that bad

  (716): View more from New York

  You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...

  Fav 0 8 34

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.

  Fav 0 67 34

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (585): View more from New York

  We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.

  Fav 0 27 33

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.

  Fav 0 27 33

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret

  Fav 0 68 29

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...

  Fav 0 6 28

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop

  (585): View more from New York

  We're dating now

  Fav 0 69 26

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (585): View more from New York

  Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.

  Fav 0 51 25

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out

  Fav 1 113 25

  share tweet
  

• (585): View more from New York

  It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework

  Fav 0 5 24

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT