Texts From Last Night · asalari's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

asalari's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried

Fav 51 16034 4494
share tweet
(269): View more from Michigan

Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

Fav 22 6729 1542
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.

Fav 13 1512 4874
share tweet
(434): View more from Virginia

I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.

Fav 18 1039 6212
share tweet
(818): View more from California

On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?

Fav 35 1827 2181
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius

Fav 32 13237 1221
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore

Fav 27 1035 5527
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog

Fav 27 1911 7674
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT