Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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