what day is it and did you see me today?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
