I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
