the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
