my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
