omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is Oprah even human
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
