I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
