you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
