He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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