So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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