Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
