how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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