She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
