you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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