we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
