Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
