You're my little dorito
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
