i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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