Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
