i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
