Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
