i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
