yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
