This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
