i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
