I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
