is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
