Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
