So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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