He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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