I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
