I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
