saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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