I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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