FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm passing your future prison.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
