I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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