Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
