i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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