he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
