apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
