Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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