She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
