literally had 100 drinks last night.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
