last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
