I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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